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Worse High Tea: Joseph Alexanders | Milton December 4, 2010

Filed under: desserts,Fine Dining,Food review — Dobsessed @ 4:38 pm
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So, went to Joseph Alexander’s for high tea for a friend’s Stepford Wives themed birthday today.

*SIGH* What can I say, Joseph Alexanders isn’t how it used to be. They used to be my favorite place for high tea, but I can now say that it’s probably the worse that I’ve been to.

Joseph Alexanders is housed in a pretty nice space, wooden floor boards, big windows that overlook the Brisbane River with bright sunlight streaming in. Linen tablecloths, with floral China (all mismatched)…that’s where all the nice things ended.

The table were lined with paper (…ok, I can overlook that) but they didn’t even give us linen napkins. We got paper napkins, not the nice thick ones, oh no…we got these flimsy, rough napkins that you would usually get from surbuban food courts.

I was very hungry (no breakfast) so I was excited when the three tiered plates came. I ordered the gluten free high tea and this is what I got for $36.90.

Not very pretty right, let me describe everything from the bottom plate up.

First tier Sandwiches (not finger sized):
Smoked Salmon with cucumber and tomatoes:
This was alright, the bread was pretty bad. I could tell that the bread were the ones you get in package and it’s very, very crumbly, like they’ve had it for three days. The bread actually completely fell apart and I couldn’t actually physically pick it up to eat. This sandwich was OK…I was hungry and I snaffled it up.
Chicken and Avocado:
Same stale, crumbly bread, but this time, the chicken tasted like cold rotisserie chicken and had absolutely no flavour at all. Not appetizing.

Second tier Almond cake and Macarons:
Once again, the cakes tasted like it has been sitting around for three days, the cake was very, very dry and very crumbly. Taste wise, it was OK, nothing spectacular, I would expect to buy an almond cake like this from the local coffee shop with my $3 coffee. You know those cakes that are pre-ordered from like a catering company. Once again, not very impressed.
Now the macarons. I know macarons ok, and these LOOKED nice…but macarons are made from almond meal and egg whites, they’re supposed to be light, airy and slightly chewy…these were as hard as rocks. Like the texture of Violet Crumble, but hard. The flavor was OK, nothing spectacular but once again, very disappointed.

Top tier, Petit Fours:
The chocolate mousse cups were nice. Just a thin chocolate casing with soft chocolate mousse inside. It tastes nice, like chocolate mousse, but it wasn’t really anything exciting or interesting. Probably one of the only faultless thing that I had on my plate though.
Now, I saved the creme brûlée for last because I looooove creme brûlée. When I went to eat it, I was very pleased that the top gave a resounding crack, but was very curious about the green.

Yes.

GREEN.

Creme Brûlée.

You know what it was? Avocado.

Yes, Avocado flavored creme brûlée and it was disgusting. The texture was perfectly smooth actually, but I felt like I was eating sweet (too sweet) guacamole. It was gross, I felt like asking for some corn chips and salsa, didn’t even finish it. Seriously one of the worse creme brûlées I’ve ever had. But…good job for trying to be creative. Too bad it failed.

Now, with the tea, they didn’t bother asking for our tea orders until after about 30 minutes so half of us had finished nearly two of the tiers before the tea even came. We all got our own individual pot and the tea list was very small.

I ordered a Chai and it was pathetically weak.

They didn’t give us a tea strainer each, and because we all ordered different teas, we had to share tea strainers which is just wrong.

Milk that were provided was skim, (how thoughtful, is it because we were women?!) and when we added it to the tea, it gave this weak, palid colour. Not impressed.

So anyways, we had some good chats, and the service was fine…but overall, the food, the tea was just pathetic and all I can say is…I didn’t choose the spot.

I have to say though, everybody there looked LOVELY and I think the birthday girl had fun…but food wise…disappointing.

I guess I can’t talk for the normal high tea, but the gluten free one was just bad. I really can’t say much for restaurants that is OK with serving subpar, stale cakes even if it’s for their gluten free patrons.

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2 Responses to “Worse High Tea: Joseph Alexanders | Milton”

  1. Megan Says:

    How disappointing! I love high tea – and this sounds like a pretty poor effort at it! Why didn’t they take the tea order when you put the order in – the tea is supposed to come with the food!

    I must admit- even in the pics the bread looks pretty pathetic and the creme brulee top looks burnt.

    I hope the company made up for it all.


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